Everything can be questioned. I simply can't get enough of questioning myself, well also about everything. It provides me so much insight as to what are my personal problems beneath the surface, which were completely unknown to me, and even though the answers are not always what I expected, it's good to get to know me :)
They said "what ain't broken can't be fixed" (I love this quote!), so if it's all good then you must be on the right track, though improvement is always welcomed! But maybe there's something wrong going on in your life, maybe you've lost hope, nothing seems to come together or make any sense, or maybe it simply doesn't "feel" right. Well then there are no questions there, there is something wrong, something is blocking you, so there is something to question about.
Philosophers, life-coaches, spiritual teachers, etc., all seem to agree on this one philosophy, which sounds something like:
If you want to achieve greatness you must first let go of what's holding you back.
In this case the "unwanted" will be our core belief. It feels like we're constantly going back to this issue, because there is really no way around it:
The belief which lies in our subconscious mind will dominate all other beliefs we think we hold.
Maybe these 5 examples would be properly adequate to help you visualize:
- Money doesn't grow on trees, mother repeated, so today you struggle financially.
- You have a bad relationship with one or both of your parents, and today you're seeing a mirroring effect in your relationships.
- You felt a lack of love as a child, and today you wonder why no one else wants you.
- As a child you were told that you were no good and useless, and today you feel unworthy.
- You were bullied in school, and today you have low self-esteem.
Today what we're going to do is to find out what are those branches growing off of our most predominant fear, and then work with it in order to finally ease the pain associated with it, or better, delete symptoms that may be a by-product of one or more past experiences. Anxiety, for example is a by-product of a fear which has manifested in a time way before we even started having symptoms of anxiety. Let's flip the coin around: our body is being dominated by an unknown fear stuck in our subconscious mind and is re-lived through each of our experiences. It doesn't matter if we saw it coming and recognized it, or if we had absolutely no idea we feared a particular fear, either or the emotion which rises at the surface is a fear from deep within us.
They say that as a child, more precisely before the age of eight, we have yet learned to understand our feelings in order to express them as emotions. Therefore we couldn't deliberately choose to accept or reject a particular feeling, thus by default we've adopted them all, negative or positive feelings. That is mainly the reason as to why today we keep attracting the same events which are a match to those feelings. In other words we've adopted these patterns which lie in our subconscious mind, which is THE most dominant consciousness. Understanding what are the "Royalty" controlling our everything is the first step to unleashing ourselves from those past experiences that no longer serve us.
As we all know, our fears expressed in the form of emotions can be manifested through an illness, anxiety, depression, a particular event or person, a thought or a future event or scenario (e.g., how will I pay rent this month, or how will my future look like 10 years from now). So, what do these fears have to do with the core issue? Everything... let us detail with a few scenarios:
- Will I ever come out of this financial struggle?
- Why do people make me feel rejected?
- Why do people hate me?
- Why do people make me feel worthless?
- Why do people make me feel angry?
You may find that you can replace the noun people with a distinct name, and that is even better.
Now let's take a quick look at this converging diagram for a brief moment:
This example represents worthless as being the core fear, and we can see clearly how it's branching off as different assignments, but ultimately they are all by-products of not being worthy.
If only the root fear never existed, there would be means for the secondary fears to exist.
From this observation, we may want to blame, for instance the fear of reputation, but because a fear cannot be manifested overnight, yet it requires years of affirmation, convincing and many replicated back-up scenarios for a fear to become a dominant fear. For example, if your core fear is worthless, it was certainly not caused by a couple of people telling you that you were worthless.
Ignoring our fears is really not the best thing you can do for yourself, although it may help reduce the emotional pain momentarily, however in the long run it can only continue to grow branches. It would be like switching your attention towards something that feels more positive, while the fear lingering in you awaits another opportunity to arise, once again.
Now dwelling on our financial problems instead of looking at possible solutions is focusing on the problem only, but the core belief behind the financial problem is what requires our attention, and it's what's causing us physical and emotional pain, so it's essentially not the fact that we can't pay our rent.
So how can we find out what are our core fears? We can do so in 3 simple and easy steps:
Step 1: It's Time To Ask Questions
First, we need to find what is troubling us, what are we afraid of, what event, people or circumstances seem to cause us the most physical, emotional and mental suffering, and we can do this by simply asking ourselves questions. This should be done at the time a fearful emotion has manifested, but anytime you feel ready is also good, whatever feels alright with you.
Now that you've purposely chosing to hold on to one fearful emotion or a parallel moment, ask it about its originality by using probing questions such as the below. This will activate the critical thinking part of the brain:
- What am I afraid of?
- When was it?
- Where was I?
- Who was I surrounded by?
- Why am I afraid of it?
You may add to these questions and dig as deep as you possibly can. This may require a bit more time for some people depending on how suppressed the core fear is, or to others it may come very easily. Simply let your mind do all the work, let your mind take you where you want to be, let go of any thoughts and completely surrender to it and trust that it will show you what you're seeking. Do not try to force the process by provoking a thought or a "desired" scenario, or worse suppress the emotion from coming to the surface. This is a good time to be brutally honest with yourself. Trust that your mind knows you best :)
Important note: Before beginning with this process please keep in mind that you don't necessarily want to "relive" that moment, but instead what you're looking for is to "revisit" it as the older version of you, and observe that point in time (from the 3rd person perspective) and allow the experience bring up for you memories, flashes, images, words or any feelings or emotions from this moment. Since the heart of the fear was most likely manifested as a child you may not necessarily see pictures or images, but you may only feel the emotions surrounding that fear.
To conclude with step 1, simply take note or perhaps have a friend take note for you of every bits and pieces you were able to subtract from this experience. You will be surprised how much will be revealed to you; blueprints you were unaware of, and most importantly you will recognize what are those negative imprints that have been governing your life up until now.
We hope you have fun with this simple exercise and don't forget to smile once in while :)
In 3 Easy Steps To Finally Realize Your Core Fear (Part 2 of 2) we will learn effective techniques on how to narrow it down to one predominant fear and navigate The Art Self-Revealing, only one fear at a time ♥
Namaste
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