My Recent Depression And Anxiety Tips (My Top 6)

This one is dedicated to my mom.

It's been a while since I've written anything. Lets just say I was going through stuff...

As you know, I've struggled with depression, followed by anxiety, topped-up with substance abuse. Since my last post, for some reason, my life went completely down-south, and totally unexpectedly. In the last 3 years I've lost three jobs, two rental apartments, the majority of my friends and all support from family. Today when I look back, I know what I did wrong. My life did a complete 180 degree and continued going down hill from there. Without getting into many details, and I'm sure you have an good idea, so I really want to focus on what I did to get myself out the deed, deep misery I had put myself into, how I got back on my feet, back on track, and even stronger than ever. One thing I do want to say is don't ever think you've become strong enough to suddenly be able to deal with addictions because you got over your anxiety/depression. Addictions and anxiety go hand in hand. Addictions are extremely difficult to control, and even no matter how strong you think you've got. Please keep in mind, and you know that, when you start it's extremely difficult to stop or control, and so you might just fall right back where you once were, deeper, and possibly hit rock bottom... that's exactly what happened to me, so I hope these tips can at least help some of you.

Let's get right into it. Here are my most recent 6 tips for finally concurring depression and anxiety, especially when mixed with substance abuse.

1. Stop Consuming Drugs And Alcohol, Whatever It Might Be For You

This is a crucial step, if you allow in the devil's temptations, you will never be able to see the light again or gain the strength to get through it. Go head, have that one more drink, one more night of fun, and then what? What about the following weekend? What will happen when that "friend" calls you to come chill, what will you respond? Are you going to go back just so that you can test your own strength? What does it bring to your life or future? What's at the end of that tunnel? How far in life have you gone since? Are you making good friends, I hope so, because you will need some. Those people are not your real friends, maybe you have something in common, but you can not help each other get better by doing the same thing. Talking to each other about your future goals and plans while high, is not going to take you any further, but only to that next party.

From my experiences, none of that matter. That fun you're having isn't real fun, and trust me, it's actually taking your further and further to your dreams and goals, and often extremely dangerous. No savior is coming for you, you're dreaming, comfortably numb, in your own fantasy world, but with no means of getting out of it. Life won't help you if you don't help yourself.

Sober up a bit and slowly you'll find the courage to get help, and there is so much help out there. One thing at a time, one moment at at time, one goal at a time, you will eventually reach every single one of them, as long as you stay as sober and keep your focus.

2. Come Face To Face With The Fact That You Do Have A Problem

Most of us don't think or believe we have a problem. Anxiety and depressions are linked to deep wounds that were once forgotten, pushed away and never dealt with. The reason why we rebel is because of our hurtful wounds from our past which we think no longer exist. When we feel unhappy we naturally get involved with the wrong people, introduce substances to ease the pain or to feel accepted, loved or appreciated. We must remember that we attract what we are, these people, whom match your current mental state, are not going to be helpful, however they do make you feel comfortable and welcome, right?

Don't give in, know better. You have wounds to heals and you need to accept it, don't copy them, don't settle, don't give up on your dreams just like some have. You need to talk to yourself and say "I need to change my behaviors and actions". Do that and your life will follow... it's truly the only way. You will feel it in your mind, body and soul when it's really time to quit. Then focus on you and you will begin to be more honest with yourself and with others. Transitioning is never just a walk in the park, it hurts, but it does go completely away :)

3. Be Completely Honest With Yourself

Like I just mentioned, being honest with yourself, knowing who you are, where you come from and what you want in life, all will support you during your transition. You need to be self-aware of everything about you. Whatever you need to do to find that out, just do it, trust me, it's worth it. As soon as you admit to yourself "I have a problem, I know", then, you will immediately feel that feeling of calmness, and right through your veins. What do I do now? Make a list of steps you can take, and start with one, anyone, just pick one. It is a very powerful practice, it works, it worked for me, and I hope it works for you. Be a good person and stop lying to yourself and to others. You will gain confidence, self esteem, and others will begin to respect you, once again.

My life changed dramatically; I gained back my respect, I started loving myself more, and today I  completely accept my flaws and previous mistakes. I never judge myself or anyone - I respect other's journey and where they might be today.

4. Detach Yourself From Toxic People

I've always believed that people cross your path for a reason, but I also know that it doesn't mean everyone will stay in your life, and sometimes it's just for a quick brief moment, just to teach you something, or perhaps you need to leave them with something. In any way, some people show up only to make your life miserable as hell, more then their own life. They will do anything to keep you from getting better or succeeding, because that's what they thrive on, victimization. They pick at you, wait for that reaction, and can't wait to see you hurt. It's only until you realize this, that you can then make a conscious choice to let them go. Get to know them so they don't bother you ever again, new comers, they will come. Cut them out of your life, and COMPLETELY! I'm sure you've met a few.

5. Take Care Of Yourself

It took me a few back and forth before I finally became to understand that part-time consuming, is not a thing. Only after I decided to ONLY focus on my physical health, mental sanity and spirituality, that I began to feel completely at ease with myself, my life, my behaviors and attitude towards people. I now take good care of myself, eat even better, back into yoga and meditation... life if wonderful again, but at higher level. I do not force anything, because the last thing I want to do is create any unnecessary stress while I'm healing. One day might be yes, but the next might just be Netflix. I take it one day at a time, I don't think about tomorrow or yesterday's mistakes, because I know that will trigger anxiety and overthinking, and we both know that won't lead us anywhere! I am now leading an easier, almost stress-free life style and I'm loving it. I did move to another city, but only because I left like I had no other choice. It's up to you. Whatever makes you feel good just do it, as long as it's healthy!

6. Know Your Goals

This has to be my favorite. I might not have previously touched this topic, but I truly believe that the root of the problem, is that we are completely lost human beings, not knowing what we truly like, what we should be doing with our lives, yes I'm talking about your life purpose. Picture you're an artist but you work for the government full-time, and completely dislike your job. The majority is doing it, they "seem" happy, so it must be alright. Well, it may be the worst thing for you. It is soooo important that you have a goal, mission, purpose, reason to live, reason to be alive! Otherwise, what's the point. I finally think I've got my mission figured out, which is to help people, in any way I can, through this channel, through beauty, being raw and authentic, so that others can replicate. I have decided to become the type of person I would wish to meet and have a conversation with, and be so comfortable that I can truly be myself. That is enough for me. I'm also starting my own business, and from all that, I know I'm doing what I was called to do. They're many things you could accomplish or do, it might not just be one thing! Being a good mother is one :)

You must find what those are deep down, and slowly work your way to them! I believe those are the true meaning of happiness, no anxiety, to stress, no depression. Remember, anxiety and depression are only here to assist you.

You also have a story to tell, click here.

Be well.

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Hello and Welcome!

We are pleased and very excited to officially launch Mind Over Anxiety is Sexy!

We like to think of our self as a two-way street:

Firstly, we are more than happy to publish your own story article, which will also be featured on our Contributors' page. It's totally free and we ask nothing in return, but inspiration.

Secondly, we will post on various subjects; possible factors and triggers, techniques, methods and natural remedies, all within the one mission: reducing or eliminating anxiety and depression symptoms... for good!

If you have any topic suggestions please contact us and we will be happy to consider them.

Read on important topics

• Anxiety (and post-anxiety)
• Depression (and post-depression)
• Society stress
• Mood disorder
• Fear factors (e.g., public phobia, failure)
• Emotional factors (e.g., guilt, anger, fear, shame)
• Self-esteem and self-confidence
• Self-destructive and negative behaviour
• Life styles
• Big challenges and sudden changes
• Traumatic events
• Media
• Nutrition
• Natural or homemade remedies
• Coping methods and techniques

and much much more...

Share, comment and give feedback

We can manage anxiety and depression symptoms and even prevent them from coming back, and for good. As you share your concerns, fears and experiences with others you liberate yourself by recognizing the possibility that you may be suffering from these symptoms, and allow in acceptance which can free yourself from self-sabotaging.

There is never a right moment to look for help, but it is important to do so sooner than later, especially if you're reading this. Being honest with yourself is especially important. By ignorance, some people may skip this step completely which can lead them deeper and deeper into fear.

We need a support system in place in order to "feel" supported. That alone can provide a major relief. That it's a psychologist, a doctor, a friend, a family member or online support, each can play an important role in your personal recovery journey. This can be life-transforming -- it absolutely transformed mine.

To find out how you also can contribute, please click here.

Important note

It is immensely important that all exchanges done on this platform are kept gentle, respectful, open-minded and with extreme sensitivity. Any judgmental or disrespectful comments will be removed without prior consent.

Thank you for your cooperation,

Sincerely,
Your Admin

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Tomato Vs. Avocado - The Undefined

I am a woman, daughter, and mother with day-to-day challenges and lived experience with mental illness and disorders. I'd like to stress I am not a healthcare professional. Presently I struggle to keep my anxiety in-check and I can occasionally "feel depressed" but I will stress it is nothing compared to feeling like you are being swallowed whole by the world and it's only a "matter of time" before someone or something destroys you (or you destroy yourself!).

I tell myself daily:

Know your truth and don't back down! I no longer have room for historical demons and doubts. I will not entertain their foolishness. I do not deserve to suffer and I forgive myself and others for any wrong doing or hurt in the past. I am a product of my experiences and because of that I AM IN CHARGE. My experiences DO NOT define me. What I do now and the lessons I've learned dictates their meaning.

I've always being very emotional and sensitive. I was never very good at sports, mainly because I was not competitive, I liked to be by myself and work on things independently. I took to the arts, painting, pottery, music, dance, and even figure skating - although that proved to be too competitive near the end as well. I was fortunate enough to come from a loving family and had a beautiful childhood. I am grateful for this, especially now that I am a mother, and I see and hear so many heartaches involving families and children suffering in our own backyard and around the world.

When I hit about 12 years of age things changed very fast for me. I didn't have the confidence I saw in others around me. I didn't "bounce back" when someone put me down. I started looking around me and felt different from everyone. Like a freak of nature. I felt so intensely about everything around me. Every person and situation was so meaningful and I didn't understand why this was not the same for everyone else. It was very difficult to navigate through junior high, high school, and even my early 20's feeling this way. And others constantly took advantage of my naiveté.

Without going into details, I have been a victim both crimes of the heart and the law. I further crumbled and these experiences ripped through me and broke me down. I took refuge in hurting myself physically, using drugs and alcohol to escape from how disappointed I was in the world and how I hated myself for not being strong like everyone else. As a result I tortured myself with the guilt and shame I brought to the family dinner table for years.

In my 20's everything changed with the birth of my son. I was not "cured". I still had my struggles but I knew I had to be stronger and I knew he needed me. Over the years I screwed up a few times, I will not lie! By the time I was 25 I think I had seen three or four dedicated mental health practitioners. Number four changed me forever. She told me given my "make up" she probably would have turned out the same way and done the same things. She told me I wasn't inferior to her or anybody. She did not pity me. She had EMPATHY.

Her and I came to the conclusion being told I am "too sensitive", that I need to 'build a thicker skin', and 'not to take things so personally' closely resembled staring at a tomato and telling it to 'become an avocado.' I am a tomato and I own it.

So with the baggage of a divorce, a child, debt, and being a university drop-out to boot I started over. It was a series of one step forward and two (sometimes 3 or 4) steps back. The greatest gift I have given myself over the years though is FORGIVENESS. Being armed with forgiveness allowed me to accept things that had transpired in my life. It allowed me to take responsibility and become accountable with love and acceptance instead of with guilt and shame. Letting go for me was not about giving in, it was (for lack of a better word) transformational and a necessity if I ever wanted to excel in life and not live in a place of hurt and pain.

I started looking at myself (both my body and my mind) and the world around me differently. I looked at food as medicine and exercise as a way to keep the motor running. I became more interested in studying different spiritual practices, homeopathy, naturopathy, and learned to slow down in the midst of chaos. This was instrumental where I lived in the middle of the hustling city of Montreal, Quebec at the time. With the help of others' guidance and literature I learned that the anxiety I feel can be countered with peace.

I recognized for my own healing process (this is different for everyone) it was important for me to do more of what made me feel most connected to people and the earth. This was the opposite of what I was doing before and I learned I could safely express my sensitivity more and more. Today I write, paint, practice yoga, and go for long walks on the beach and in the snow, depending on the season around here. I know that if I am feeling anxious about something that it is important for me personally to quickly assess the situation I'm in and act swiftly because something is likely "off".

I have been focusing on listening more to my intuition and learning about what brings me pleasure in life despite what others believe or think. A hot cup of tea, meditation, and curling up to read a book or a movie sounds like a great Friday night to me! Again, I am not "cured" and life's changes - they are unpredictable, but for the first time in a very long time (likely since childhood) I feel at peace and I am truly happy. I have a long road ahead of me, even this next year is going to be pretty intense, but I am committed to myself and my family my friends and this life.

In the last year I managed to crush my last vice, my evil friend smoking. I have enrolled in school once again, and got back to my yoga practice. I am still just as sensitive (if not more than ever) but I feel stronger than ever. The difference is I've used my experiences and truly listened to what they taught me. I navigated myself away from the negative, into a positive headspace, and now some really big things are happening!

So 2015... I do not believe in New Year's resolutions but I believe in positive daily affirmations. I believe in sharing the good, bad, and even ugly. I believe there is strength in numbers. I believe in myself and I believe in you. I think we need to take the pressure off the New Year, take a deep breath, forgive, accept, and reach out to inspire one another.

Kindest Regards,
MTP

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How I Am Managing My Chronic Anxiety

I come from a fairly large family composed of five girls, and let me tell you things would go "missing" quite often in the household! Though, this doesn't speak for the financial struggles associated with a single mother trying her best to raise a family on a low income. The fact that we were girls certainly didn't stop us from eating like growing teenage boys, which financially speaking obviously didn't help. We learned to live with the bare minimum and everything else was considered a luxury, thus we all had to get a job and work for it. Today I wonder if these absences and experiences have anything to do with mt stress level, depression and anxiety. Despite of it all, I was a very happy child and left lucky to have such a wonderful family and a roof over our heads. I was filled with hopes and dreams, hope that one day things would all make sense and fall into place, or in other words. I'd finally wake up from this dream.

I never really stressed over much. and always looked on the bright side on things. Not that I understood what those dark roads meant, but I knew very well that worrying wouldn't help anything, and I made sure to express that to everyone around me. I was that middle child who never sweated the small things, and was soon named the "Zen" one of the five.

Personally, I've always been a master at day-dreaming; my mother would constantly remind me to get out of the clouds, however I'd prefer playing other scenarios in my head over my reality. That was me at home. Though, school was different. For popularity reasons I didn't fit in very well so I soon saw myself as different, weird, or plain "not normal", when comparing myself to others. However I didn't feel the need to be accepted or understood by schoolmates or kids from my neighborhood, and in fact I truly enjoyed being on my own, because this way I would avoid dealing with other's expectations of me. I was able to just "be me" and not really care about my reputation. But there was one major problem, which was that I would keep to myself and forget to associate with others, thus, I would keep everything inside. As a child, I couldn't understand the consequences from not expressing myself; my worries, your troubles, my opinions and emotions, brief, what I expected from others and what I wanted in life. It was only in my early twenties when "things got a bit sour", I think I was beginning a depression.

What is depression? Please allow me to go back and explain in my own words:

First, nothing mattered, nothing to look forward to and nothing would excite me anymore. Everyone around me would seem happy but me, and I couldn't understand how they could possibly be happy, walk with confidence and even smile. There seemed to be a huge gap between my world and their worlds. My world was dark and theirs didn't seem right either, because nothing felt right... nothing.

Of course, getting up in the morning was very uncomfortable and obviously had no point to it. The minute I'd wake up my entire body would hurt and I couldn't stop or prevent it even if I wanted to. I'd stay up until sunrise and yet I would accomplish absolutely nothing. I was completely lost, with no drive whatsoever, no ambition, no idea how to get myself out of it; if I would requite external help or I carry the weight on my own. It was nothing compared to what I had ever experienced, much darker and scarier, more life death, like a walking zombie lost in an unknown world. My dreams which once felt doable now left unrealistic, and even my life was uncertain.

I felt the need to distance myself from my friends and family so that they wouldn't feel the mental and physical pain I was in. I isolate and question everything; my existence, anyone's existence for that matter, and the meaning of life. My self-confidence and self-esteem were non-existent. I would even ask myself why would anyone want to be confident? That's just egotistic... and what's the point of living?

Seeing people happy would irritate me and only get on my nerves. I simply could not relay with no one. I would lose patience over meaningless things. My mind would constantly wonder from left and right, and mostly scary thoughts, which had taken total control over my life. All I only wanted was to find a reason to be and some peace of mind, just for a short moment. My feelings were all over the place with no understanding as to why they were. It was like a roller-coaster, going from one thought to the next, from one emotion to another, and being the rational type only made it worse, since I'd try to process my own thought process, so you can only imagine how crazy I felt at times. From not caring when someone was getting engaged or had a new job, to having no empathy for nothing and nobody. I felt guilt, pain, danger, afraid and lonely. Life had completely changed its course, painful and just pointless. I didn't know what was happening to me nor did I have a clue how I would get out of this, if someone would come and save me, or if I would have to carry the weight on my own, once again...

I started to fear everything, including my own self and refection. I had no self-defense, no self-control or desire to care for myself. It felt like I was going through some type of mental illness, self-disconnection, lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, or perhaps a combination of all. Completing the puzzle felt impossible, and even peaking through just to get an insight on how it looked on the other side wasn't working for me. The physical pain became unbearable and my ability to process thoughts became even more difficult. I'd get a headache just by thinking which was certainly not normal or healthy. The accumulation and combination of the physical, mental and emotional symptoms took a hold on me, and finally, my dear friend Anxiety came knocking. At that point, depression wasn't so bad after all.

One of the worse experience I ever had to go through was getting myself to work and back. Here's a bit of a scenario on how it took place:

Every morning I'd get on the public transit for a forty-five minute commute to work. I had to mentally prepare myself for this in order to keep myself straight and focused, however it worked only maybe 50% of the time. Every stop, person talking, bell ringing, door opening and closing and even the noise of the bus running would trigger my symptoms of anxiety and would turn into mini panic attacks. I felt completely stupid for it and so I had to step out and attempt at the next one so that I would make it to my destination safe and sound. Sometimes it would take four buses to make it there. I'm not sure how I repeated that for years. I guess I just had to be places.

Some other symptoms I'd experience at home (or anywhere) were: afraid of falling asleep, sudden waking during sleep, trembling, sweaty palms, cold sweats, difficulty speaking or expressing myself, irritability, easily provoked, sensitivity to loud noises and light, shorten of breath and trouble catching my breath, bad posture, back, neck, shoulder, leg and arm pain, numbness in my extremities, foggy mind and blurry vision, skin rash and oily skin, hair loss (I now keep it short and like it that way), fear of dying and passing out, fear of loosing it, public phobia, monophobia, autophobia, claustrophobia, complete self-disconnection and difficulty looking at my own reflection.

I actually had to take myself to the hospital on a few occasions, but only to be sent back home and told that there was nothing wrong with me, and that it was all a playback in my head. Stubborn as I was I refused to accept the medication doctors prescribed me because I wanted to fix the problem from the root, instead of covering the symptoms. I knew that if I would go on medication I would only distant further from myself, my dignity and the little bit of self-awareness I had left. Now back at step one. Deep down I truly felt like a complete idiot for going through this, and I was afraid that maybe I had developed a mental illness, since it was confirmed by physicians... that it was all in my head.

Surprisingly enough I did notice that I was capable of controlling most of my symptoms, and also even prevent those mini attacks from actualizing. Well then since it's either all in my head or not at all, I then began exploring other methods, techniques and avenues. which today serve me greatly and will always remain in my self-help tool box. The followings seemed to have helped me the most: mediation, yoga, music (natural sounds, vibrations, mantras) and self-talk. Another tip which I found very helpful was imagine myself in a moment when I felt Ok, before all of this started which would temporally bring me back to that "good place", so that I could touch it again. Slowly it all started to come back to me... piece by piece... moment by moment, and years later.

As far as self-talk goes, the main purpose was not only to and convince myself that I was going to be Ok, and better, but most importantly it helped me figure out who I really was. Going "back in time" helped me to a point, but even this method was not enough in my journey of finding my self. Since I had lost myself, I now had to re-learn who I was, and mainly who I wanted to become. I'd spent the majority of my time self-talking (in my head of course) soul searching, in a way I had no idea was possible. I was becoming aware of my inner-peace, my inner-connection, my inner joy, which surprisingly left more comforting than anything else I ever had or had always wanted.

Although my days weren't always pink, at times I felt lost, unsure, and afraid, but a voice inside of me insisted that I don't give up, no matter how long it was going to take me or how difficult it was. The next day I would look inside and find that strength again, and continue on. Letting go was simply not an option, but instead it became a motivation to reach a higher self, and of course to get through this. I thought to myself "oh boy this is going to be a long road, but if I ever make it I will be stronger than ever". I knew this was a part of my life's mission, I knew I had to go through this for a reason...

Consequently I came up with a fun game called, I'm sure you all guessed it, "Finding the missing pieces of the puzzle", where I had an imaginary puzzle in progress on my bedroom wall. Of course not literally, but I would add to it every aha moment I could get my hands on. This additional technique not only gave me strength, but it also made me realize that I was heading towards recovery, piece by piece. Doing this mental exercise also provided me with a great sense of awareness, and that I was in control over my mind, body and soul, thus life, although a work in progress, I knew it was only a matter of time before I could "breathe" normally again. I used to have many dreams, but now I have only one, achieving total peace of mind.

I made the choice of going natural vs. taking medication because it felt right for me. Being the sensitive person that I am, just thinking about being controlled under the influence of a medication scared the crap of out of me, so that was certainly not a good choice for me. Au contraire, I wanted to feel every pain, discomfort and symptoms, so that I would evaluate each moment and get linked back to the root, and possibly try and fix it, instead of being completely numbed. I did many researches on the subject and came up with my own techniques that seemed to have worked well for me, though I am well aware that they may not work for everyone, since we all have different perspectives, beliefs and mentality. As far as nutrition goes, eating clean has always been important to me, and although this wasn't a contributing factor in my case, I believe that it can be a strong indicator in other cases.

From my experience, the key element that helped me cope and still today defeating my anxiety and depression was to reconnect with myself, my identity, my soul. I was doing what I though was right for me but I was obviously doing it all wrong. I was so not aligned with my my highest good thus lost myself completely to the point where I "felt" disconnected, because I was. I felt "crazy" because my mind was also "going crazy". I felt stupid and worthless because I was doing worthless and stupid things. Here's a simple equation I like to refer to in harder times: "Soul Connects the Mind -> Mind Connects the Head -> Head Connects the Body = Soul". It's simple and effective when I feel not quite connected. A self-disconnection can lead to total catastrophe. Some people may not have had this experienced, but to those who have, I feel you.

Just like dealing with any addictions, it takes time, effort, understanding, dedication and discipline before we can see profound results. In my opinion, anxiety and depression are only a "state of mind", which we all know can be controlled with the power of our own will. Our minds just like our muscles can become damaged over time if not properly cared for, but with a bit of TLC and regular "training" we can see remarkable results.

Who would of thought I would experience something this frightening, something that felt so dark, lonely, devastating and so close to death, but let's not get ahead of ourselves, even the most Zen person who seems totally aligned, can be completely disconnected.

Today the sun is shining and that's really all that matters. I truly believe in miracles, let me tell you! I could be talking about my life struggles and whatnot for days, but for now I only wish to give you an insight on my struggles, my findings, key lessons and what I am doing today to keep sane, in hopes that one person can benefit from it. It's definitely not easy to put myself out there, but I know I'm not the only one, and I also know that everyone has a different story to tell.

The key lesson I took from this experience is that internal happiness is the most precious gift life has to offer, and that internal happiness is in fact a choice. Today I accept my suffering and am extremely grateful for it, because today I see it as a life changing experience to help me flourish and live a happier life. As hard as it may seem anxiety and depression are definitely curable, and although medication may help some, there are many other avenues to look into, which can also work beautifully. The question is, what are you looking to get out of it?

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take any steps towards healing, because one step will lead you to the next, and sooner or later you will reach a happier place, but only if you choose not to give up.

The way you see my story is most likely different to how I am interpreting it. We all lived different paths, have received differently, wish for different things and see life differently, therefore there is no need to judge one's story or goal. instead we can listen and try to understand, because that may be all we can do.

Wishing you a full and long lasting recovery.

Méliane

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